Labour candidate being mocked by Lib Dems

  • Post last modified:June 7, 2024
  • Reading time:6 mins read

The Labour Party’s MP candidate in North Durham at the general election is Luke Akehurst. Notorious may be an understatement for this guy. However, aside from all the controversy surrounding him, one of the main problems Akehurst faces in his new constituency is that… well… he’s not actually from there. So, his Lib Dems opponent has graciously offered to give him a helping hand.

Akehurst: maybe an A-Z might help

Local councillor Craig Martin, the Lib Dem candidate to be North Durham’s MP, has offered to give Labour’s candidate from Oxford a guided tour of the area – and to lend him a local A-to-Z map:

He is taking bookings at and advertising the tours in Oxford’s Broad Street for any other Labour bosses who might enjoy a holiday in County Durham.

Martin is a Lib Dem councillor for North Lodge and northern Chester-Le-Street. He said:

While residents will be surprised that the Labour party couldn’t trust any of the local councillors in North Durham to be our MP, I don’t want to draw too much attention to the fact Luke Akehurst is from Oxford and has been parachuted into North Durham as a last-minute stitch-up by Labour bosses in London.

Instead, I’d point out that I have been working with other Liberal Democrat councillors to boost tourism to County Durham – the most beautiful place in England for fun and fascinating days out. I’m delighted that part of our success in boosting visitor numbers and our tourist economy means that visitors like Luke Akehurst are keen to see our county.

Martin added that “I realise he’s more familiar with North Oxford than North Durham, but I will do everything possible to ensure he’ll enjoy his holiday here”:

Stop laughing at the back, please.

Labour’s very own general election parachute regiment

Of course, right-wing Akehurst has a litany of skeletons in his closet – aside from not even being from North Durham. So, locals would be wise to view him with suspicion.

Martin lives with his young family in the North Lodge district of Chester-Le-Street, where he is a county and parish councillor. He added:

I am very keen to show Luke some of the local heritage and explain the issues concerning local residents, as I appreciate he won’t have a clue about this part of the world.

I am sure he will enjoy seeing Ankers House, Beamish Museum, and the Causey Arch. However, I’m afraid I can’t take him in the DLI Museum, which Labour councillors closed; it is reopening next year thanks to pressure from the Liberal Democrats, so I can take him there if he ever visits County Durham after 4 July.

In some bizarre twist of polling, interloper Akehurst is currently set to take the seat – which won’t be a win for anyone except him and Labour. Not deterred, Martin said “I will be happy to take Luke out for lunch to try pease pudding,” Craig concluded, “as I think everyone should give pease pudding a chance”.

As the Canary has repeatedly said, this general election is about anyone but the three Tory Parties (Reform, Conservative, and Labour). So, in North Durham we’d urge people to vote Lib Dem or Green Party. Either of them surely have to be better than Akehurst. But hey – maybe he can still take Martin up on his kind offer?

Featured image via Winkball – screengrab

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