The Labour Party under Keir Starmer has been lurching from one self-induced crisis to another since… well, around 5 July. By its side throughout has been the Guardian: the epitome of political Western liberalism and centrist managementeeism. So, what better story for it to spin as some sort of stroke of genius from Labour than the one about the party considering bring back the purveyor of the finest centrist managementeeism: Labour Together’s Jonathan Ashworth?
As the snivelling rag reported:
Cabinet ministers are demanding a rapid shake-up of Keir Starmer’s Downing Street operation, which they say has failed to spot obvious political banana skins, indulged in weeks of post-election infighting and been unable to promote a sufficiently positive story of Labour’s mission in government.
Some senior figures in Starmer’s team want the prime minister to bring in Jonathan Ashworth, the former frontbencher who was a regular and, many believe, effective media performer during the general election campaign, to beef up the team and give it a sharper political edge.
AHA! It’s Jonathan Ashworth again
Yes, that’s right. The Alan Partridge of the Labour Party himself, Jonathan Ashworth, is being primed to return to the fold. The Guardian dutifully called his unceremonious dumping by the electorate “one of the shocks of election night” – when in fact, it wasn’t a shock to anyone outside of Westminster.
Apparently, though, senior Labour ‘sources’ in Cabinet want this failed Pizza Hut manager back to sort the government out. Apparently this is because, the Guardian said, these MPs believe:
at least two or three more people with serious political and media experience need to be installed alongside the director of communications, Matthew Doyle, who helped mastermind the landslide election win, in order to spread the load and beef up the operation.
“Installed” being the operative word, here. As the Canary has written, Keir Starmer – ergo, his government too – was quite literally installed by Labour Together (which Ashworth now heads up).
The senior cabinet ‘sources’ briefing for Partridge’s return could be anyone from this round table of corporate middle managers. As Tribune wrote, half of them got free members of staff from this so-called think tank.
Meanwhile, MPs like Steve Reed helped set Labour Together up in the first place. Plus, Wes Streeting’s new daddy, NHS privatisation wizard Alan Milburn, sits on the think tank’s advisory board.
Furthermore, Labour Together clearly has the ear of the Guardian – as it itself admitted mere weeks ago.
So, of course the Labour cabinet and the Guardian would want to bring Ashworth back. He was central to the entire Starmer project after all.
Making the Labour government even more talentless
Over on X, people were laying out a few good reasons why he shouldn’t return; left-wing Labour MP Diane Abbott being one person doing so:
Ashworth has so little tactical sense that he did not realise he was crashing to defeat in his own constituency. The answer to the problems at number 10? https://t.co/vGMMQ0fuOY
— Diane Abbott (@HackneyAbbott) September 29, 2024
One user was joking – but his sarcasm was perfectly plausible:
Labour ministers wanting the second sorest loser in history, @JonAshworth, to manage Labour’s image may also like to consider @wesstreeting as Minister for Trans People and @LordWalney as Minister for Muslim Relations https://t.co/tyWir1rNmE
— David Hughes 🇵🇸 (@DavidHughesTwit) September 29, 2024
Meanwhile, Ceri also thinks Ashworth is quite ‘Partridge’:
If you look at the definition of failing upwards you will see a picture of @JonAshworth https://t.co/mKuAK8mgQg
— Ceri (@Ceri221) September 29, 2024
The bigger picture here is that firstly, a return for Jonathan Ashworth sums up Starmer’s Labour Party in a nutshell: bereft of talent, scared of opposition, and utterly wedded to self-servility.
However, it more shows the craven contempt that those leading the government hold the public in.
Fuck the public
Starmer has droned on about hereditary peers being in the House of Lords being “indefensible”. Y’know – unelected, and all that.
However, he has no such problem with peers put their because of political backscratching. Now, some in his ranks also have no problem giving MPs the public booted out effectively their old jobs back.
Labour giving Jonathan Ashworth a government role would be another huge kick in the teeth to the public. Essentially, Starmer would be saying ‘we don’t care if you didn’t want him in public life – we’re going to give him a job there, anyway’. Of course, it wouldn’t matter to Labour – as it was those Muslamists in Leicester who conspired to get rid of poor Jonathan, anyway.
It stinks – but it’s not a surprise, and the Guardian are right behind Ashworth’s return, too.
Featured image via the Canary
