General election chaos as Tories campaign goes further down toilet

  • Post last modified:June 4, 2024
  • Reading time:9 mins read


Poor little Rishi Sunak. So far, the Tories’ campaign has gone from him doing his best drowned-rat impression to a run in with a well-known supermarket brand. However, the Conservative Party’s general election campaign reached two new lows on Monday 3 June – one of them thanks to an inspired drag by the Lib Dems.

Cruel Britannia

First, eagle-eyed X user Mark Woodward spotted a problem with the Tories new campaign video.

No. It wasn’t every single word of it.

Woodward spotted that the nincompoops at CCHQ had managed to put their old-so loved, repeatedly shagged Union Jack the wrong way up:

Nuff said, really. Although you do have to wonder whether the Tories’ comms team are doing this all on purpose:

 

Next, the infinitely comical (often intentionally during this general election, too) Lib Dems seemingly thought:

We know! Let’s wind things back to some 2013 vibes!

NO! Not us being student-hammering, Tory-enabling shits!

Let’s photobomb Sunak!

However, the real deliciousness of it comes from the fact it seemingly wasn’t planned.

Slick, Cooper. Slick.

Deputy Lib Dem leader Daisy Cooper was taking a general election boating jolly in jolly-good Henley – when she spotted the Tories:

Spoiler alert: this journalist was good friends with Daisy Cooper as a teenager – and she’s always been a wily character (in a good way, Daisy – in a good way).

So, not one to miss an opportunity to paint the Lib Dems as the only ones actually enjoying this general election campaign, Cooper performed the pitch-perfect ruination of Sunak’s moment:

At the Canary we’re waiting to see what Cooper and the Lib Dems to next.

Running up behind Keir Starmer and giving him a wedgie with his neatly pressed-and-starched tighty whities? (You know that’s what’s going on under those trousers). (And likely all that’s going on, as well).

Laying a trail of strategically-placed banana skins outside of Nigel Farage’s office? Here’s an artist’s impression of what the result of that may look like:

Or maybe – just maybe – the Lib Dems might talk about chronically ill and disabled people – seeing as all the other parties are ignoring them completely. Now, that would be the shock of 2024.

Regardless, it’s the Tories that are coming off worse, day in, day out, during this general election. Highly predictable after 14 years of misery, war, death, privatisation, and corruption, we know. Meanwhile, the clear and present danger is of course Starmer’s Labour Party.

General election: please vote for who you want

If the snivelling centrists at Best for Britain are to be believed, then tactical voting to get the Tories out is CRUCIAL when Labour is predicted to have 485 seats and thus wipe out the Tories, based on polling at the time of writing:

Of course, Best for Britain are only saying this nonsense to prop-up their mates in the shiny (old) new right-wing Labour Party – and therefore, the status quo which suits these middle-class, right-leaning liberals:

So, please ignore these centre-right, establishment stooges and vote for whoever the hell you want – preferably Greens, independents, or if you must, Lib Dem.

The Canary will, starting this week, be featuring interviews with some of the leading independent candidates from across the country – from groups like Collective.

Meanwhile, we leave you with this wide-angle video of the Lib Dem’s Sunak photobomb:

Sunak probably thought he was safe in upper-class Henley.

No where is a safe seat, Sunak.

No where.

Featured image via the Canary





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