Regulator the Environment Agency (EA) is about to hit the profiteering effluent-mongering water companies where it really hurts.
The rankings!
Specifically, the EA is “considering” reforms to its flawed star rating system, which has allowed water companies to dump sewage and still rack up a full sweep of stars to their names.
Because, tightening the water company ‘Top of Plops’ is really going to stick it to the shareholders. The idea stinks almost as much as UK rivers – and that’s a lot right now, given some are so pungent people can’t sleep at night.
Water companies: something reeks in their ranks
On Tuesday 20 August, the Guardian reported that:
The regulator gives each company a star rating each year. One star is the lowest mark and means the company is urgently in need of improvement, while the highest mark is four stars, which comes with the accolade of being an “industry leader”.
Companies are judged on seven metrics including drought resilience and transparency over sewage spills: if they score highly on some of these, they can get top marks even if they have spilled large amounts of human waste into England’s rivers and seas.
The reforms being considered would mean that to achieve the new highest score, companies would not be able to have a low score for sewage discharges. This metric will also be tightened, the Guardian understands, so it is harder to achieve a good score.
According to the outlet, if water companies’ bosses can’t claim four-star status, they won’t be able to justify staggering pay rises.
Well, we call rivers rammed with bullshit on this.
What makes it think that exactly? The widespread news scandal of parasite-infested Devon drinking water didn’t stop shameless capitalist parasite South West Water ‘Chief Excrement Officer’ Susan Davy from skimming off company profits for a stonking £300,000 pay increase.
Debt-ridden Thames Water is another case in point. Water company regulator Ofwat has at least ruled out the flailing firm foisting the cost of its £156.6m pension scheme shortfall on customers. However, it still found – get this – £158.3m to fork out to shareholders in March. The figures speak for themselves.
Another gimmick
The Canary isn’t the only one that thinks stripping stars will be just a sewage-spilling slap on the wrist with little to no impact. One was Dave Throup, a former EA area manager:
It’s clearly ridiculous that a water company discharging untreated sewage into our rivers in hundreds of locations can be described as industry leading and an exemplar.
And it’s been ridiculous for years.https://t.co/hJzLK6OwaF
— Dave Throup (@DaveThroup) August 20, 2024
Undertones star-turned-water campaigner Feargal Sharkey pointed out the rating system has always been a sham:
The @EnvAgency stupid writ large.
Conceived as a name and shame them exercise the Environmental Assessment was supposed to ‘nudge’ WCs into good behaviour turns out it had exactly the opposite effect. CEOs just used it to blag bigger bonuses. Ho hum.https://t.co/m5ry3Kt7dt
— Feargal Sharkey (@Feargal_Sharkey) August 20, 2024
As another poster underscored, since when could we trust stinking capitalists making stonking profits to do the right thing?
Sewage-spilling English water firms could be denied ‘top marks’ in rankings – this is pathetic. We need for essential services to be renationalised as greedy capitalists cannot be relied on to do the right thing https://t.co/VAb8MnRfZz
— Annie Campbell (@anniecampbell62) August 20, 2024
Instead of doing away with this ranking system plagued with problems, it’s thinking about… adding more stars! As the Guardian wrote:
Sources at the EA say it plans to add at least one extra star rating in an overhaul of the rules, so no company found to be spilling sewage will be able to call itself an “industry leader” at the top of the league table and therefore escape scrutiny and justify high CEO pay.
Accounting professor Prem Sikka called it out for what it is. He said that since it doesn’t directly curb profits, the UK waterways will continue up shit’s creek:
Sewage-dumpng English water firms could be denied ‘top marks’ in rankings.
Another gimmick that won’t stop profiteering, sewage dumping or produce investment.
Nothing will change until profit motive is removed, customer elected directors put on board.https://t.co/rol29Z79gj
— Prem Sikka (@premnsikka) August 20, 2024
However, Sikka also pointed out that’s precisely what regulators aren’t going to target. Notably, this is because Ofwat has a ‘growth duty’:
England water firms could face £2bn in fines over next 5 years.
The likelihood is small as regulators now have a duty to promote growth of the industry.
Sleight of hand – £168m fine two weeks ago was deferred.
People must not bear cost of failures.https://t.co/thnYwmEVpf
— Prem Sikka (@premnsikka) August 20, 2024
Water campaigners warned this could bring it in conflict with its role regulating the industry. Already, as Sikka noted on the deferred fine, this looks to be coming into play.
Starmerroid-infested sewage-spillers
Of course, it’s likely this is all the stench of Labour’s water company lobbyist links wafting through the halls of the EA already. That is, as the Canary previously highlighted:
more than a dozen firms that have lobbied for the UK water sector in the last five years hold significant ties to the Labour Party. In particular, the Canary has identified a revolving door of Labour MPs, aides, and high profile staff from the party. Invariably, these have moved into prominent roles with consultant lobby companies working for the UK’s private water corporations.
One poster noticed that even this meek reform is non-committal:
The most shocking part of this is the word ‘could’. Sewage-spilling English water firms could be denied ‘top marks’ in rankings https://t.co/lqORFMkPsa
— Mel Roxby-Mackey (@archaeoborders) August 20, 2024
While we’re on the topic of ratings, the UK Health and Security Agency (UKHSA) has given 19 open swimming beaches bottom marks. It’s for their piss-poor water quality, with pollution posing the risk of diarrhoea, sickness, and picking up dangerous infections. Seaside souvenirs include delightful bacteria like E.coli and viral chest, ear, skin, and eye infections, and Hepatitis.
Fortunately, being a spineless, slimy Starmerrhoid isn’t contagious – at least not outside Westminster. The capitalist profiteer pollution of politics on the other hand – the murky waters are visible for all to see.
Feature image via the Canary
