Labour politicians already playing the victim card over election

  • Post last modified:July 16, 2024
  • Reading time:13 mins read


Not even two weeks into the Labour Party’s landslide that wasn’t actually a landslide, and the UK’s brand-spanking new government and its corporate media mouthpieces have gifted the public a whistle-stop tour of the worst, the dullest, the whiniest little shits the party has to offer.

Labour’s rightwing gammon-grifters couldn’t possibly contemplate that its spineless, Tory-esque policies would bite them on the arse at the election. So when some morally principled independents, Greens, and other parties pluckily nabbed some parliamentary seats, its “pity me” machine predictably went whirring into overdrive.

Labour playing the victim

So far, Labour politicians have shown if there’s one thing the new government is good at, it’s playing the victim.

First, sore losers Jonathan Ashworth and Thangam Debbonaire took to the television media to whine about their election losses. Their interviews signalled the start of probably quite literally a collective public groan of sheer, unbridled exasperation.

Unsurprisingly, the pair didn’t waste a moment for some deep and conscientious reflection. But why would they spare a precious second on that, when the think tank corporate lobbyist revolving door already beckons?

Instead, it was straight to the voter-blaming. Both bristled at the ‘bullies’ bashing them for their pathetic stances on Gaza. So that would be voters trying to get answers out their prospective MPs then. In Accidental Partridge Ashworth’s most brilliant recent example, as the Canary’s Steve Topple pointed out, this meant:

pretending to do some ninja shit in an attempt to intimidate said Muslim uncles.

Therefore, one person on X rightly noted:

Because, does it get any more sickeningly hypocritical than this? In the midst of a literal genocide where Israel has brutally bombed to death over 186,000 people, the Labour rightwing are the real victims, clearly. Plenty on X had words to say on this disgraceful response:

Faux outrage

But if you thought that some spurned former MPs would be the end of it, you’d be dead wrong.

Cue new Home secretary Yvette Cooper crying wolf on “political intimidation”. Unsurprisingly, liberal Labour’s biggest media bootlicker the Guardian ate this up. It reported that:

An alarming rise in candidate intimidation during the UK’s general election campaign will be addressed next week at a meeting of ministers and civil servants, the home secretary has said.

Yvette Cooper said there had been “disgraceful scenes” in some areas in the run-up to the 4 July vote, as she announced she would chair a meeting of the defending democracy taskforce.

Then, it was Angela Rayner’s turn to spinelessly spin the same narrative for the latest nauseating episode of the suck-up to Starmer show:

Of course, the reality is that it’s arguably the Labour right that has ample experience in this political abuse. Cough *Labour Files* cough *Forde Report* cough:

Aptly, journalist Jonathan Cook highlighted that Starmer’s Labour has form on smearing anyone trying to hold his party to account:

But corporate media hacks will still likely fall all over themselves over neoliberal Labour’s fake persecution parade. That is, just as it did when Labour’s treacherous right and its press enablers ran a shocking stitch-up and sabotage of Jeremy Corbyn… oh wait:

Meanwhile, Ashworth’s drunk on power met a titillating new game of “never have I ever”, but a poster on X called his bluff:

Ultimately, these Labour politicians prove it: once a narcissistic political opportunist, always a narcissistic political opportunist. Independent MP candidate Faiza Shaheen laid out Labour’s rank hypocrisy in just one post:

It’s clear that the new government’s faux outrage is designed to manufacture consent for continuing its assault on the left. One poster summed up Labour’s fragile white ego in a nutshell:

Some suggested it also hinted that Labour might continue the Tories’ authoritarian crackdown on protesters:

Because ultimately, that’s the thing – it’s increasingly blatant that Labour exists to serve whiteness, and the corporate capitalist and colonial forces that underpin its status quo.

On with the show

Maybe, just maybe, people didn’t vote for the Labour right’s best and brightest (heavy dose of sarcasm) because they’re servile Tory-lite turncunts:

Because naturally, Labour’s defeat by pro-Palestine candidates had nothing to do with its mealy-mouthed prevarications on Gaza. Vile Islamophobia and anti-Black racism from the arrogant Starmerrhoids also had absolutely no part in it either:

One thing’s for sure, this is all extremely predictable behaviour from Starmer’s petulant brand of Labour loyalists.

I for one have been sharpening my tiny violin bow good and ready for Labour’s inevitable post-election melodrama meltdown for the next five years.

Graciously, the media has started beaming it incessantly onto our screens. If the cacophony of careerists already clamouring their best victim theatrics is anything to go by, we’re in for quite the show.

Feature image via the Canary





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